“British Airways flight 271 from Marseille Marignane to London Heathrow will be departing from Gate 12A. Please make your way to the departure gate.”

Léa kissed Tom one more time and asked him if he had everything. He smiled at her and kissed her back. Despite being ten and tall for his age, she just felt he was still a little boy and was not completely happy with him travelling on his own. She had offered to take him to London but Mark had said no, that he would be fine, and that lots of children travelled on planes alone on much longer distances than Marseille-London. 

“Kiss Granny for me and tell her that we look forward to seeing her with you here in two weeks, OK? And you ask her to call me or send a text when you get there.”

The little boy nodded as his father embraced him one last time. She looked at them both, seeing the resemblances and the differences. 

Mark put Tom back on the ground and they watched him go with the air hostess through passport control. He waved them and they waved back and he was gone. Léa sighed. Mark looked at her smiling. 

“Don’t tell me you miss him already?” He said, putting his arms around her shoulder. 

“A little. It’s always hard to watch them go.”

He pressed her hand in his. “Well, I have a plan to make you forget all about him.”

She looked at him knowingly. 

“Seafood and shopping. And then just you and me at home for almost a day and a half.”

She told herself that by then they would know he had arrived safely and that he would be fine. She pressed herself closer to him and they walked through the airport.

In the car, on their way to Marseille, Léa reflected that her apprehension about Tom had more to do with finding herself alone with Mark for a couple of days than just their ten-year-old travelling to London on his own. It would be the first time since the crisis that had shaken their couple in April where they would find themselves alone and she could feel a light tension in her about it. It was ridiculous, as since they had made up, they seemed to have gone back to normal to what it was before, but she knew that this wasn’t quite true. There was still some unease at times between them, something left unsaid, that made her feel like they walked on eggshells around each other. 

The truth was that since Mark had come back to the family home and the marital bedroom, their lives had been full and they had had little time for each other. In addition to the running of a hotel, a wine shop and her writing, there had been physical and psychological scars to heal at home. 

First, there had been their eldest son Max to look after. He had been involved in a traffic accident while they had been apart and the seriousness of his injuries had meant daily trips back and forth to the hospital in Nimes, forty-five minutes away. Since he had come home a month earlier, there had been numerous trips to the physio, and a few control visits to the surgeon and the neurologist who had looked after him. Everything was fine and he had been allowed to go and visit Léa’s parents with the twins a week before. But she also knew that Max, the most sensitive of the children, had been watching them closely. She had caught fear in his eyes a couple of times when Mark and her had had words or just sharper than usual exchanges. 

And then there was Tom. As Léa had suspected, the combination of his father staying a way for a few weeks, their dispute and Max being involved in an accident had had an effect on him. He was still the bubbling little boy but had a harder streak to him that had shown itself both at home and in school. Mark had intervened but Léa felt the whole situation was still touch and go. They hoped that being away from home, in England, would help him a little, although she knew that Mark was less than happy to see him spending a week with his widow’s parents. Despite his mother-in-law getting in touch with Léa to try to resolve the divide between them, he had been less than willing to participate in something that he saw as a way for them to get back at him. It was one battle she had let go of as. 

The less affected by what had happened in April were the twins, Ben and Ellie, just over two years-old. They were a joyous pair that needed constant supervision and she had been grateful to her parents to take them away for a week. 

She wondered if the two days they had to spend together would be as free as those few days in London, until that dreadful meeting with Stephane Vanier, where they had enjoyed each other’s company and bodies with complete abandon, just secure in the knowledge of their relationship. And would they even speak about what had happened in April? She knew they needed to and was surprised when Mark broached the subject shortly after they sat for lunch. 

“Are you happy?” he asked her hand in his, their knees touching under the table.

She smiled at him and kissed his temple, noticing for the first time a couple of grey hairs. 

“Of course Mark. You know that.”

He looked at her, fixing his blue eyes into hers. 

“I’m aware that we haven’t discussed what happened back in April. I just want you to know that I’m prepared to listen if you feel there is anything you need to tell me. Sometimes I feel there is still a divide between us, something I can’t quite put my finger on.”

She looked at the glass of champagne in front her before replying, looking for the correct words.

“I know what you mean but I don’t know if there is anything we can do about it. Like children, scars need to heal for us too. But I think we are well on our way.”

He kissed her lightly on the lips. 

“This weekend is important to me, to us. I didn’t want you to go with Tom because I just wanted you and me to spend time together. We haven’t had any since…”

“London,” she added. 

“And we haven’t even managed to spend a night a week away from the house in the last couple of months, as we used to do.”

“We used to do that two nights a week even!” she added playfully. 

“But you know what I mean? I need some time with you. No kids, no distractions, just you and me.”

She smiled at him and pressed his hand.

“I know. And you’re right. I guess I’m just a little apprehensive of us alone together. It’s just been so full on.”

She saw the pain in his eyes and wished she had phrased that differently. 

“What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not sure. It’s silly, I know.”

“What can I do to make it go away? Do you want to go away for the next couple of days?”

She shook her head and a curl came down from the loose knot at the back of her head. 

“No. Let’s stay home. Just enjoy our home and us.”

She smiled brightly at him and kissed him softly. 

“How about we order some food? I’m starving.”

They ate and drank a little and awkwardness slowly evaporated between them. Their natural happiness at being with each other is growing, filling the void between us. They came out of the restaurant happier than they had come in, hand in hand, giggling like teenagers about their plans for the rest of the day and the next. 

* * * * *

Mark looked at his wife, asleep in the seat beside him. The late afternoon sun gave her skin a golden colour, that same colour he had noticed all those years ago. He felt like touching her again, letting his hand run on her legs. He shook himself off. The motorway was busy and he needed to focus. 

As he drove, he knew he felt happier than he had been for a while. That impromptu session in the shop had seemed to push the shadow that had been hanging over them since April. He could not say what it was but despite them being close again, since they had got back together, there had been a distance, a connection missing. The easy, almost telepathic link that they had before had not resumed despite the lovemaking and care they showed each other. Until now that is.  

A lot of what had happened between them in April had been his fault. He had reacted to the attention of Stephane Varnier in completely the wrong way but then he had never felt threatened in his relationship before. What had started in London as just a feeling had festered and exploded when Varnier had shown uninvited and made advances to Léa. But instead of reacting like any sane man would, he had chucked the guy out but taken it out on Léa at a time when he had realised later she needed him. She had been shocked by Varnier’s behaviour, believing that he could have possibly raped her and he, in his wisdom, had let her be alone the whole night. 

He wasn’t sure that even his coming back and waiting outside all night had completely healed Léa. He had tried to explain to her his fear of beating her up that day and although she had listened, he knew that had not been quite enough to make up for the abandonment she had felt that night. Maybe she had been right earlier that all this had to heal and it took time. But he knew he had been right to insist that Tom went away on his own. They needed time together and what had happened this afternoon was the first step to getting their groove back. 

His hand brushed her hand as he stopped in front of their gates. 

“Léa?”

She opened her eyes and looked at him sleepily. 

“We’re home.”

“I think I need a swim to wake me up.”

* * * * *

It was past seven but with no children whining about dinner and just Bruno, their big black Newfoundland, they found themselves taking their time for the first time in months. Mark spoke to his sister, who confirmed that Tom had arrived safely and that they need not to worry. He was playing with his cousins and seemed to have forgotten about them completely. 

While he made his calls, Léa went for a swim. The cool water woke her up and she put in length after length, feeling her muscles ache a little and her worries faded. As she lay on her back, she felt happier, lighter. Mark had been right, they needed this time on their own. She could not understand what she had been so worried about. They were slowly but naturally falling back into their world, their own rhythm. 

It was late by the time they finished a light dinner, made of fish and summer vegetables grilled on the barbecue. The house was quiet and the darkness enveloped them. They moved to the sofa, the leftovers from a bottle of wine and their glasses on the table. 

“I love the sky here. It’s just incredible. You feel like you can touch the stars here. Look, we can even see the Milky Way tonight. It’s so clear.”

“I remember the night you showed me the stars. I was so annoyed when you went to London the next day. I thought you had done that to seduce me.”

He kissed her neck, pulling her closer on the sofa against him.

“Of course I did. But you seduced me too. I remember it very well.”

“No, I didn’t” she said playacting. “Anyway you never showed me the Great Bear.”

He put his wine glass on the floor next to the sofa and made space for her next to him, pulling her down until their faces were next to each other. He put his hand up and took her in his and slowly drew the Great Bear for her. She felt excited like a little girl. A shooting star passed about them. 

“Where did you learn about the stars?”

“My granddad. My father’s father. He had learned from his father and used to say that the stars saved his life during the Second World War.”

“Why?”

“He never said. I’ve wondered since if it had to do with lucky stars rather than real stars but I have always liked the story of being saved by the stars. I’ve always been fascinated with them. They are so many of them.”

“And we’re tiny and pretty insignificant.”

“I used to think that years ago, during my first marriage, when it felt so crushingly bad.”

“And now?” 

He caught the question in her voice and smiled. 

“And now I don’t. I have you. I don’t feel small or insignificant when you’re with me.”

There was silence only broken by a bird call somewhere in the garden. 

“We are lucky,” she whispered. 

“We are.”

They stayed out looking at the night sky for a long time, talking softly, the dog snoring on the floor next to them.